10 Ways to Find Rest
What do you do for rest?
If you’re like most people I talk to/counsel, you needed a good thirty to sixty seconds before you could find a single answer.
Our modern, fast-paced, Western, machine-driven world doesn’t really like rest. Or perhaps more accurately, it doesn’t know how to rest.
So let me help you.
But you deserve rest. You’re human; we need it.
Here are ten ways to rest. This is not an all-inclusive list, of course, but I challenge you to try these things. They may be weird, even uncomfortable, but try them anyway. Build rest into your life with these practices, or others, and see what helps.
Sit Down
I know this sounds simplistic, but hear me out. Sit down.
Now do nothing. Nothing at all. For five minutes. Seriously, set a timer and try it.
Did that drive you crazy? It does for most people I try this with, and they seem to rank it somewhere near torture. A mere five minutes of nothing drives us nuts because we live in an always-on, constant-notification world.
That means that if you want rest, you’ll have to go against the grain of our world, especially the hyperactive Western world.
So practice sitting. The to-do list can come later. Just try it a few minutes at a time. And if you need help with this…
Schedule it (Don’t Wait for it)
“I’ll rest when I have time.”
No.
You’ll rest when you make time. You’ll always find more stuff to do. So make time. Look at your calendar and see if you can schedule…
A few minutes. Got time between meetings? Don’t fill it! Rest up and you’ll be better for it.
Lunch time. Seriously. Some people skip lunch breaks. Don’t be that person. You deserve a break. McDonald’s even asked you: Have you had your break today?
An evening. Can the laundry wait a day? Have dinner with the family. Read a book. Go to bed early. Find ways to rest.
An entire day. We used to call this Sabbath. Not religious? Try it anyway! An entire day of rest. See how this changes your energy levels.
A week or more. Not everybody can afford this, I know. But if you can, or if you have vacation days, take them! Enjoy yourself! If you can’t afford a luxury vacation, then budget the trip, or just stay home and do things you love. And if you’re afraid of using up sick days, trust me, you’ll get less sick if you let your body rest.
You deserve rest, so put it on the calendar. And guard it. When you recharge your battery, you’ll have the strength to help others.
Make a Space For it
Life is…loud. I can’t count how many times I just wanted to read a book in the couch, only to hear the tell-tale screams that remind me I’m a dad.
I don’t know much about feng shui, but I do know that space matters. If you’re going to rest, try to find a good place to do it. Is it your favorite chair with a cup of tea? The living room with your favorite series on TV? Your bed with the door closed, locked, and barricaded? The garden? The workshop?
Maybe it’s somewhere completely apart from home. A fishing boat on the lake. A movie theater. A nature hike. A jazz club. Or just the empty highway and your car. Find a space that speaks to you and try to make it there.
And don’t be afraid to invest in your space. Patch up the fishing boat, spend the gas money, buy a better chair to replace your uncomfortable one. Saving money is good, but so is spending it on the right things.
Sleep
I’m gobsmacked by how many people tell me they don’t get much sleep…and that’s the end of the sentence. Like it’s a normal thing for any human body.
But then I find myself up past midnight playing Stardew Valley again. Whoops.
Dude, go to bed. Set a timer if you have to. Shut off all screens 30 minutes before bedtime and keep them AWAY from your bed (more on this in a minute). If your bed or pillow are the problem, replace them if you can. If health issues are keeping you up, try to see a doctor.
I understand that some seasons come without sleep. Newborn kids, chronic pain, late nights at work because of a project. I don’t want to shame anybody in these circumstances. Instead, I want to challenge those who regularly go without sleep to ask themselves why.
You deserve rest. Sleep. Take a nap. Feel your body and ask what it really needs: one more episode on Netflix, or a cozy bed?
Shut Off Your Phone
Call me a luddite, but you can’t call me overanxious. Because I don’t fill my head with whatever news or gossip happened to come along in the last five minutes.
I’m not saying throw your phone away (though if you can…). I’m saying be its master, not its slave.
How many of those notifications are actually important? How many are actually urgent? Are you actually using your phone or just scrolling endlessly? If you’re that bored, put the phone down and find something to do.
And just because we have access to all the world’s information doesn’t mean it’s all helpful. Social media can be wonderful, but it can also be a heart attack speeder-upper. Especially in our modern world of fear-based news. Filter it, or just shut it off. No one can reasonably expect you to fix everybody’s problems.
Many phones have this lovely “do not disturb” setting, where you can shut off certain functions and keep others. Such as muting social media, but keeping phone calls in case of an emergency. Try it at nighttime, or once a week for a whole day.
And for pity’s sake, keep the phone away from your bed. It won’t help you sleep, and it won’t be a cheerful wakeup when you get a Threads alert at 3 in the morning. If someone needs you urgently, they’ll call and you’ll hear it. Otherwise, it can wait until morning.
Bonus info: staying up on your phone directly before bed—or even worse, in bed—is baaaaad for you (shocking, I know). The blue light from the screen tricks your brain into thinking it’s still daylight and that you need to stay up longer. Put the phone away a good half hour to an hour before bed and you’ll sleep better because your brain knows the sun is down.
Art
Rest is not only for the body, but the soul, too. A nap is good for the body, and art is good for the soul.
What do I mean by art? Anything. Books, film, television, games, theater, dance, painting, sculpture, music, singing, photography, and more. Whether you are doing some of these things yourself or just watching/participating, art soothes the soul like a cup of cool water soothes the parched tongue.
Now hear me out: I’m talking about actual art, not just entertainment. Entertainment is something that occupies your attention, but art stirs the soul. They can be one and the same, but they often aren’t.
Art is the Disney animated original, created on its own merits to tell its own story as best it can. Entertainment is the live-action remake that only has to reference the original to make a buck, so it doesn’t really try.
Art exists for the soul’s sake. It often has no point, no “function,” as we normally understand it. That’s what makes it so restful. You don’t have to do anything with it per se; you can simply enjoy it.
Speaking of which…
Do Something Pointless for Yourself
I am a 37-year-old man, and I’m writing a Pokémon fanfiction. Why? Because I want to. I don’t want to publish it, or even let anybody read it. I just want to write it for no reason other than it amuses me.
I’m all for spending time instead of wasting it, but don’t forget to do fun things for yourself, too. Some things in this world have no obvious “value.” They don’t make money, they don’t make the world a better place, they don’t feed our bellies. But they’re not harmful either.
More importantly, they fill our batteries. Doing something fun makes us happy. And if it’s pointless, then there’s no risk of screwing it up!
So write that terrible novel no one will ever see. Draw that goofy comic that makes you laugh. Knit that sweater you might not even wear. Dance in the kitchen. Read the entire series of that one author you like who wrote that obscure book no one talks about that you found at a yard sale once. Play an instrument even though you’re not good at it.
Go bowling. There is nothing more pointless than bowling. But you can eat NACHOS while you play it!
The point is not to have a point other than your own enjoyment. Mismatch your socks. Walk barefoot through mud. Jump in a leaf pile. Have fun!
Therapy
If all of these techniques sound horrible, I would suggest talking to a licensed counselor. The human body was made to rest. If you can’t rest, something is wrong.
It doesn’t mean you’re bad, it doesn’t mean you’re a screw-up. It means you’re hurting. There’s no shame in getting help for it.
Maybe anxiety keeps you up. Maybe trauma taught you it’s not safe to sit still. Maybe nightmares rob you of sleep. Maybe you’re hunting for relief or entertainment, not rest, because there’s a hole in your heart and you don’t know why. Maybe there are relationships that won’t let you off the hook.
Talk to someone. They’re there to help.
Cry
Sometimes, staying busy feels safe. Because if we stop and let ourselves feel what’s beneath the hurry…we’re not ready to face it.
Or are you?
Our world has come a long ways from the stoic, boys-don’t-cry nonsense, but I still see so many people who will do anything but let themselves feel sad. They’ll fix problems before they have a chance to feel them. They’ll stay busy so they don’t notice how their marriage is falling apart. They help people, complete projects, or fix things so they feel useful.
My friend…it’s okay. There is no shame tears. Please, be kind to yourself by letting yourself be hurt. Crying is how we process sadness. If we don’t cry, or maybe just sigh or pout, sadness isn’t processed, and it stays, just beneath the surface. Forever.
If you don’t like crying in front of people, go somewhere solitary like your room, or the middle of the forest. If you have people you can trust, cry on their shoulder. Ask them to meet up, not so you can just “hang out,” but let them know you need them so that they can be there for you.
This isn’t wallowing in misery; this is honoring your body and soul be being honest when you feel sad.
You. Deserve. It. You are WORTH those tears, and the time it takes to shed them.
Pray
Jesus said, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28) Maybe you don’t believe that, but may I ask: have you tried?
If the world is all we see, then rest is dangerous. Our lives are what we make them, and the world is full of competing forces and natural entropy tearing at our foundations. Rest stops productivity, and must be avoided. We are on our own.
But if there’s an unseen world, and a God who is working in the background, who already holds the entirety of existence in motion, then rest is safe. We don’t hold up the world anyway. We are called to work, but God is doing the greater work all around us. That’s why Jesus said he would give us rest from all our striving, because he’s working with us, and he’s way better at it.
Try it. Pray for rest. Ask for God to lift the heavy burdens. Take a full day off, believing that God will not only recharge your battery, but keep the world spinning without needing your help.
Conclusion
This is only a short list of possibilities. Take what works, modify if you need to, but do something to find rest in your life. Or maybe stop doing something. Whatever you need.
Remember: you deserve rest. Your body was designed to rest. You are not a machine. And any person, any system, that says you should run without stopping is treating you like a machine, not a human.
Assert your humanity. Rest.
And in future articles, we’ll talk about how to get back up with empowerment and delight. See you soon.
For now, rest.
