How to Love and Serve When You Really, REALLY Don’t Want To

I’m writing this from a place of vulnerability: I really don’t want to be a good person today.

I had a long, hard day yesterday and could not relax, and then I woke up two hours early this morning with another long day ahead of me. I’d much rather skip work, roll over, and let the world deal with its own problems.

And then I read John 13:1-17, where Jesus washes the disciples’ feet. You’ve probably heard this story a hundred times because there are a hundred beautiful truths to draw from it. But this time, I was struck by verse 1, which says Jesus knew his hour had come, and he “…loved them to the end.”

Man…I can’t even love to the beginning! I’m tired!

But wasn’t Jesus tired? He’s been preaching and arguing and dealing with humanity’s problems for years now. He’s at the end of his ministry, and he knows that he’s about to be betrayed to a torturous death. How did he love them until the end? How did he get down and wash their feet?

Pause.

This is the part where many of us jump to willpower or “ought” power. We think we should just put up and shut up, that such-and-such is the “right” thing to do, so we “ought” to do it. Deny ourselves, and all that, right?

But look what the Bible says about this moment in verses 3-4. “Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into His hands, and that He had come from God and was going to God, rose from supper and laid aside His garments, took a towel, and girded himself.”

That doesn’t look like put-up-shut-up energy to me. It actually looks like the opposite: rather than drawing from his own well of stubborn grit, Jesus takes yet another dip from God’s well.

Jesus knew who he was, why he was here, and where he was headed.

Question: do you know those things about yourself? Because that’s where you’ll get the energy to do what you must.

Jesus knew God had given him power to endure this moment just as much as he’d given the power to endure every other moment. He knew he had come from God, that only he could do this great and terrible task. And he knew that when it was over, a glorious destiny awaited him.

Oh, to have that certainty! That solidity! No wonder this passage ends with Jesus saying, “If you know these things, blessed are you if you do them (v.17). We know that we will be blessed if we wash others’ feet, but do you realize you can be blessed so that you have the ABILITY to wash other’s feet?

That’s the great thing about God! He gives blessing before AND after the thing! A blessing for obedience and a blessing so that you can obey in the first place.

Hear me once again: this is not grit and gumption. This is not suck-it-up buttercup. This is drawing from the infinite energy of God, who gives it graciously and freely. He knows we can’t do it on our own, so he gives his own resources—like his Son.

And even as I write this, I feel power rising within me. I’m less crushed by the enormous weight of the word “ought,” and more invigorated by the word “can.” Remembering the promises God has given me personally, such as the power to face hardship, gives me strength. Remembering where I come from, being formed by God, reminds me that I am made for moments like this. And remember where I’m going reminds me that this hardship is temporary: my future is glory.

And so is yours, if you remember this.

Remember that today, when you’re tired, when your kids suck, when your boss is a jerk, when your wallet is empty—and God still tells you to be nice to people who don’t deserve it (remember: Jesus washed Judas’s feet, too).

In those moments, fall on the strength of God, not the pseudo-strength of grit and obligation. Draw of His well, and you’ll have the power, as verse 1 said, to love them “to the end.”